I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
