So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
