this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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