Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
