I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
