I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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