it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
