Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
