What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
