morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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