Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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