You're so nebulous sometimes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
