You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
