I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
