am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
