There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
