a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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