Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
