Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
