What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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