Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize