I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
