Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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