I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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