How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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