hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
