You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
