Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
