why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize