I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
