Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
