Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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