If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
