You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
