ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
