he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
