I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
