I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
