True but thats because hes a fetus.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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