is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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