Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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