In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
