That's when you crack a 10am beer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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