Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
