Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
