The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize