shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
