How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
