I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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