I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
