A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
bring money and cleavage
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
