i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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