Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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