I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
