there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize