There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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