I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
