i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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