Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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