If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
