I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You work out of a Hotel?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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