an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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