I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The air was thick with penises
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
