Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
