Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
