I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
