whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
